Wow....

I just noticed it has been awhile since I have blogged...It has been a fun and sad and trying last couple of Months.

On Sunday my Sweet Grandma Magera passed away. She was my Mother's Mom. We had our ups and downs. I learned a lot of lessons from her...Such as DON'T SMOKE, always keep a stash of treats handy (you never know who may visit), and you're never too old to have a face book! She always had a smile on her face and that will be the memory I will keep. I have chosen not to attend her funeral. I want to remember her the last time I saw her. What a fun time we had back in November. She loved my children and I do believe she loved me.
Back in March my Mother's big sister passed away, too. She was COOL! She had a way about her, every time I saw her she made me feel like I was the most beautiful person in the world. I hear she made all of her nieces feel that way. She too, a smoker, I learned not to smoke from her, as well. She was the Aunt who always had an open door, a meal, and a shower for me when I went to Moab. She loved living in Moab and I think it suited her well. I will miss her sweet face too!

Now to my Mom. I worry about her. Sometimes she forgets who she is talking too. She will call me Steph (my sister) or Dora (her sister). I don't know what to think of it, is it her medication? She is weak and this new Chemo treatment is taking a toll. I think Cancer is taking its toll. She seems like a different person when I talk to her...I want my old Mom back, I want to hear the sweetness of her voice, I want hear her tell me "how proud she is of Raf" 5x in a conversation. She recently had to give her beloved Basset Hound away, she got to be too much for her. How sad is that to lose your sister, your dog, and your Mother in a 3 month span? How sad is it that she too, may not make it to see another year? I am scared, sad, and confused....